Open your Thermos and pour yourself a cup of hot Jesus soup – you’re one slimy nudge away from listening to Episode 192 of Regular Features! Gav records a conversation on a bus in which there are no heroes, Steve reprises an episode of that TV show that’s on those box set ads at the moment, and Log does a Trump in an attempt to curry dick-favour with another gay podcaster. So saith the Lord!
In fact, it was Matt having a dicky tummy that put the kaibosh on this episode. He was worried about “shitting himself” on the tube. Still, you’re hardly likely to complain when there’s a dead old lady involved, are you? Poor old lady, all dead like that. The last days, lying curled in bed, her gums no longer firm enough to support her dentures, an agonised skull with only enough connection to the world to be able to whimper “oh, I’ve had enough”. But even with that haunting memory sluicing around in me, I know what the real tragedy is here.
Matt isn’t willing to shit himself for the sake of a feature. Scum.
Do you like books? If you like books so much, why don’t you fuckin marry one? Haha. Did you hear what I said, lads? I said they should marry a book? Nah, they didn’t have a clue what hit ’em. Idiots.
This week’s episode was best described by Gav as “essentially a man melting on stage and still managing to be brilliant.” Team Features roll onto stage at the end of a Bank Holiday Monday, unsurprisingly a little worse for wear. Wonderful/shambolic. Apologies for the audio quality this week – the setup at the venue wasn’t up to scratch – but the reverb does get better later in the show.
Watch on YouTube here:
IT’S NOT A JOKE. IT’S TWO WORDS THAT SOUND SIMILAR. Matt brings his first ever Game of Thrones script *in this context*, Log teaches us all the manners we’ll ever need, and Gav gives us a cutting edge report from the very brink of celebrity. What’s that in your pocket? It is us!